Found Objects

I was in the middle of a meeting with someone and glanced over at this big empty box. The kind that is used to carry several lunches to an office. In it was a list of food orders. Luckily, it was a lunch that involved Anthony and Lorraine.

My eyes went directly to Anthony's order which is, I shit you not, written as follows:

"LARGE SALAD WITH SALMON + cranberry sauce!!
w/ NO lettuce
NO beats (sic)
NO mushrooms
YES everything else
PLEASE! don't forget the cranberry!!"

Okay. Wow. How many things are wrong with that order? I want to vomit just thinking about it. Salmon and cranberry? What? Also, I LOVE a salad with NO LETTUCE!

So I read that and after I regained control of my gag reflex, my eyes wandered down to Lorraine's order. Oh what could she possibly want to eat? How does she keep her strength up? Well here's what it says next to Lorraine:

"Same as Anthony."

Seriously.

I proceeded to stifle my laughter for the next five minutes until my meeting was over. I made sure no one was watching and I snatched the piece of paper, put it in my pocket and brought it directly to my desk so I could type this up.

Thank you Lorraine and Anthony. You two are the most awesomest morons I've ever known.