Updates

Well it looks like we passed the audit. Last week after the auditors left we were forced to read another one of Anthony's "positive energy" charged emails. Here are just a few snippets of his email:

From: Anthony
Sent: Friday, November 07, 2008 2:48 PM
To: All Staff
Subject: SI SE PUDO!

To add some perspective,

Si se puede! = Yes, we can!

Si se pudo! = Yes, we did it!

You can only imagine the faces around the room: shy smiles, hopeful eyes, I guess we were all waiting the hear the ‘negative’ side of things after the positive things were presented. But… nothing really ‘negative’ ever came.

Team, We did it!

SI-SE-PUDO!

GO TEAM!

That guy never gets tired of his catch phrases.As you can see, I have not yet worked out how to rid ourselves of the Si Se Puedo curse.

You may be thinking, Q.M. what is your problem? What's the big deal? Shouldn't you be happy that your agency passed?

I want to be. I really do. But the problem is, many of us here were hoping we would get a slap on the wrist for our shit being out of order. We were hoping for some sort of wake up call or at least for Anthony and Lorraine and Yvonne (who magically disappeared for the last three months) to be called out on their complete lack of organization and oversight. BUT that didn't happen. And somehow we faked our way through. Or maybe we just got by on all the work that everyone else slaved away to get done for our management team to look good. Who knows?

So needless to say we have now entered yet another circle jerking and self congratulatory phase. I was in a meeting yesterday with Anthony, Lorraine, Paul, and Yvonne (who magically reappeared the day after the audit is done, no joke!). And it took all the restraint I could muster up in my body to not stab myself repeatedly in the eyes and ears. I just cannot bear to hear any of them speak anymore about how great everything is. How amazing! What a great team we are! How well we all work together! I really did expect at some point for Anthony to just bend over and start blowing Paul and then Lorraine and Yvonne to start making out with each other. Yes the thought of that makes bile rise to the back of my throat and I'm sorry I even painted that picture, but you must share my pain!

And onto the subject of Yvonne. Oh, that woman. I'm about to sound like a completely calloused bitch. I know it. But she returned on Monday after three months and for some unknown reason decided to tell me all the reasons why she was gone. She started spilling her guts about how messed up her life is and how it was affecting everything, including work, to which I replied "Hrm, really? I hadn't noticed." Then she said two or three times how bad she felt that she wasn't here to help with the audit. And then at that point I just really wanted her to get away from my desk. But I pretended I cared and that I wasn't totally judging her. I also pretended that I believed she was now going to be able to get back to work and start doing a good job. I'm an incredible actress.

But look people. I've given up. I think I am officially out of hope for this place. Writing this blog has helped me to process and has certainly taken the edge off things. But I have to admit, I was always thinking that, at some point, something would have to give and that things cannot possibly remain this absurdly bad. But recently, I think I've grown up a bit and realized that things often do stay this bad and there is nothing I can do about it. Yeah we're all happy Obama won, but don't forget W was in there for 8 freaking years! Who knows how long this evil reign of terror will last here?

I have no hope left for this agency. And I have no more energy to try to help. The Lorraines and Anthonys of this world may get what they deserve someday, but I no longer believe I'll be around to see it. I declare defeat.

But don't worry. I won't stop reporting from the front lines until I'm officially out of here. Just because I'm defeated doesn't mean I'm going to stop observing and reporting all the ridiculous goings on. I promise.

Anthony likes to throw around the word "amazing", constantly. It's one of his favorites. So to end this on a positive note, I will leave you with something that is truly amazing.

Until next time,

Q.M.